morbiddimensions: idk i really like being called cute but i also really like hearing that you masturbate to the thought of me idk
danimansutti: really nothing nicer than someone saying “saw this and thought of you”
epic-humor: occultalux: i-wanna-get-in-englands-pants: omg i just realized why mario and luigi are red and green how i didn’t see that i’m so stupid oh see more
tristnpls: How relationships work: I like your butt. However, I can notice other butts. They can be nice too. But your butt is my favourite butt. It’s the nicest butt. Because it’s mine. And I can touch it. Same
kingofbear: when someone says their eyes change colour
Not sure I've ever had nightmares before...
ohabutt: in middle school my friend used to give me these huge lemons to eat because they were delicious and one time i was eating one and some idiot told me he’d give me ten bucks to take a huge bite and another kid added five so i got 15 american dollar for doing what i was already doing truly this is the land of opportunity
Anonymous asked: WOW, I just lost a bunch of weight using the OFFICIAL TUMBLR DIET!! Are u using it as well?
foreveralone-lyguy: Why when you can
narutos-dick: trenchgun: “Uwaaah! I’m gonna be late!” I’m Obama Barakku, 47 years old! Starting today, I’m gonna be a president!
dansecondchannel: “What are you doing this weekend?” “What are you doing this summer?” “What are you doing with your life?”
z1c: being 20+ on tumblr